it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Girls should come with a carfax report
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
