After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
