There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
