FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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