Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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