i can't believe i had my finger in that
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
3pm strippers are depressing
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
