Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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