D3 body, D1 cock
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
