when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
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