similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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