bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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