That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
