Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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