but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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