Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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