if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize
