she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
