We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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