If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
