This dress was meant to end up on your floor
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
