You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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