the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
