I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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