i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
