plz talk dirty to me
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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