it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
