hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
FUCK WHALES
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