i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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