i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
