remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
