at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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