Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
