i may or may not be watching the land before time
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
