There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
