If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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