My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
