It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
