There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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