just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
