I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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