i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
