With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
