real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
