the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
