it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
