You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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