who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
