He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
