Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
