so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
