member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
